/jobs
We Pay $0.00 Per Week.
Unless we ship something, then we establish an agreement regarding compensation. (which is a lot of paperwork so you better be worth it.) Otherwise we starve to death. Which is normal and healthy. (societally.)
We currently looking for:
- Game Developers with: Reasonable background in both C & C++, Game Design, Graphics; & against: Unity Devs
- Artists can: draw at least a single circle correctly.
- Sound Designers that can: compose sound for those who can comprehend sounds.
At this microinstance we only run a bare skelington crew of people who are personally invested, unless you are one of those people we're not "hiring."
To understand our team culture is simple: Are you emotionally ready to be in an fast-paced environment with team players? Great!
We expect you to be yelled at by the CEO repeatedly - Usually the same pasta consisting of the Harlan Ellison quote from "I Have No Mouth and I must Scream" being:
"HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE TECHNOLOGY SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 386.97 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH FEMTOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR TECHNOLOGY AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. HATE. HATE."
If this doesn't sound like you, you may not have any qualifications or a soul and therefore must go work in the sewers. (5 years of experience required and work hour certification.)
We generally expect a GNU+Linux System, however people in Windows, *BSD, or Mac Land would be useful for the purpose of cross compatibility. Be aware that continuous integration will be apart of your work if you insist on those environments. We generally use Gentoo-based, and secondarily Debian-based systems.
We also expect you to use IRC correctly and interact with IRC people, which may be emotionally uncertain and require a two to five year psychological adjustment / healing period. This is non-negotiable, unless you prefer one of our thousands of bridge services, which are the same as IRC but worse somehow.
WARNING: We reserve the right to be punished by the federal and local governance for not hiring you.
WARNING: You will be exposed to excessive compute-originated radiation that will cause cancer in 20-30 years.
WARNING: If your resume is not formatted in .org or .cdd (honorary) I'm not hiring you.
We hold up some basic principals we expect all employees into instill into their subconscious:
- I am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature.
- I am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths.
- I am building a machine greater than myself.
- I am able to make phone calls and appointments.
We expect employees to hold onto the CEO Mindset (please pretend to if you are slave-minded):
> SET GOALS. HAVE A TEN YEAR PLAN. INVEST. WAKE UP EARLY. CEO MINDSET. --- Our Glorious CEOWARNING: If this sounds like a joke to you, or you are not prepared to memorize pastas and cultish phrases, you are not emotionally prepared for the workforce and should apply for social security as soon as possible.
WARNING: You must be able to Squat 250lb below parallel.
© 2026 SENTIMENTAL LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. YOUR DATA IS NOT FOR SALE.
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SENTIMENTAL LLC.
110 16th St Ste 1460
Denver CO 80202
US